I guess I woke up......again
life after the Exam~
It's definitly free....and boring. The point is I am still doing the job hunting. Even there are interviews, they are in the mid-June. My godness, what can I do during this period? Even I am a pig, I cant sleep for so long.............(better to be a sleeping beauty then.....)
Those night I thought a lot about us, our history, our time. I read those diary once. One of my new friend told me that I had a harsh year. Did I? I guess whn you really love someone, you can bear all the sadness and tears and will always forgiving him. However, when i start see clear, I know that you are not the one I want.
I know that you are a very successful business man, very successful. You got all the skills and equipments. However, you are a horrible lover. When you are doing good to me, taking care of me, you are trying to treat me as your customer or client I think. You delivered a good quality services. And I misunderstood that it's from your true self and your true love. When you are trying to blame me and to protect yourself, you are doing your own-self. I shouldnt feel angry as it's the real side of you. I admit that I have personality defect. Everyone does actually. But i dont mind people to point them out (in a sofe way please...I stilll have my ego....hehe) and I would thanks them as I can improve myself. While for you, youi know you have defect too, but you tends to cover them, using your excuse " I can survive, that means I got no problem!". I guess it's your personality matter, you have a super hugh ego and in some sence, I liked this part of you before. I admire your business sense, I admire your caring, I admire your muturity. However, I cannot accept your selfishness, I dont want to learn from your value, and I dont wanna be hurt anymore.
Anyway, I guess the worst has been pasted. "Stand up at where you fall down" I am doing it now. But I guess it's hard for me to develop any serious relationship with anyone. There are always chasers, jsut I dont wanna be with them. It's quite hard for me to trust someone in this way again. It's hard for me to love someone in this way. So.....I better forcus on my other aspects: My job and excahnge! haha
You know what, for me~ the poorset thing in thi world is: you got nothign to do!!!!! and it's my situation now.......>.<~ how can Renee get nothing to do?? Impossible!!!!!!!!!!! Come on friends~ call me!!!!!! or i will call you~ hahahaha~
Have a nice summer holiday babies~~~~~>3<~
