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Managing misbehavior in children with ADHD 處理過動兒的調皮搗蛋

中譯:莎拉

Managing misbehavior in children with ADHD 處理過動兒的調皮搗蛋

By Tula Karras

Managing a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be downright exhausting. But it doesn have to be. "The key to disciplining a child with ADHD is to look at it less in terms of what hes doing right and wrong and more in terms of making it easy for him to achieve good results," says George Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. Here are some strategies to help you do that: 『養育過動兒的生存策略』一書的作者George Lynn說：「處理過動兒(注意力不足過動症)是非常累人的。可是不一定就得這樣。『訓練過動兒的關鍵：對於他做對、做錯不要太在意；反而要看重另一方面－－讓他容易贏得好的結果。」這裏有一些幫助你的策略。

Phrase requests in a positive way正面表達要求

Try to keep things upbeat whenever you ask your child to behave in a specific way. Being positive helps preserve your childs self-esteem while you teach him appropriate behavior. The best way to do this is to be specific about the way you expect him to conduct himself. "If your child is yelling at you, instead of saying Don talk to me that way, say Ill be glad to discuss what you want when you speak nicely," says Lynn. 每逢你用特定的方式要求小孩守規矩，試著保持樂觀。當你教孩子守規矩，正面態度能讓他保持自尊。最好的處理方式是－－期盼他能夠守規矩的表達方式要明確。Lynn.說：「假如小孩對你喊叫，不要說：『不要這樣對我說話。』而是要說『當你好好對我說話時，我會很高興討論你想要的。』」

Use a warning strategy使用警告策略

ADHD kids need more time to comply with requests than other kids do. This is partly because they have trouble with transitions. Kids with ADHD often become anxious and stressed when they must change the way they do things. To help your child stop doing something he shouldn be doing, such as dropping his jacket on the floor instead of hanging it on the coat rack, try using a "three-strikes-you e-out" tactic. For example, if you ask him to pick up his jacket and hang it up and he doesn respond immediately, say, "Im going to count to three. If you don pick up your jacket, youll have to go to your room." Count out loud slowly to give it time to sink in; then if he still doesn respond by three, off he goes. 過動兒比其他孩子需要更多的時間去遵守要求。部分原因是因為他們對過渡時期有困難。當過動兒必須改變他們做事的方式時，他們常常很焦慮、有壓力。幫助孩子停止調皮－－像是沒有把夾克吊好，反而丟在地上。試著使用『數到三，你出局』的戰術。例如，假如你叫他撿起來、吊好，而他沒立刻反應時，你可以說：「我將要數到三，假如你不撿，你必須回去你的房間。」慢慢地、大聲數數，給一點通融的時間；然後假如他在三之前仍然沒反應，要他離開。

Make sure consequences are immediate and consistent確定立即與前後一致的結果

"Kids with ADHD have more difficulty with down-the-road thinking. Theyll be less likely to appreciate consequences that come hours or days after an infraction," says Andrew Adesman, director of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Schneider Childrens Hospital in Long Island. Instead of saying something like, "Ill talk to your father about this when he gets home tonight," deliver your consequences immediately: "Im turning off the TV right now." Also try to make the consequences specific to the behavior. "For example, if an older child punches a wall," says Lynn, "require him to pay for part of the repair materials with his allowance." Finally, make sure the behaviors you choose to work on with your child are specific and simple enough that you can apply consistent rules and immediate consequences. 在長島的Schneider的兒童醫院，發展行為小兒科主管－－Andrew Adesman說：「過動兒對於延伸思考有困難。違反規矩－－過了幾小時或幾天，他們較不能領會後果。」不要對他們說「今晚你父親回來時，我要告訴他你做的事」，而是要立刻跟他說後果「我現在要關電視。」「例如假如較大的小孩猛擊牆壁，要求扣他的零用錢去支付修理費。」最後，確定你選擇改善孩子行為的方式很明確，所以你能應用前後一致的規則和立即的結果。

Use time outs for cooling down使用暫停時間冷卻心情

"Time out is an effective strategy for ADHD kids if its used judiciously," says Lynn. It works better if its used less as a punishment and more as a way to cool down. If your child is becoming frustrated or is about to lose his temper, send him to sit quietly in a boring area for a minute or two with no interaction from you. If you can teach your child to remove physically remove himself from a stressful situation on his own, hopefully his emotions will follow suit. Lynn說：「假如審慎地使用暫停時間，那對過動兒來說，是有效的策略。」如果較少把它當作處罰，而是作為冷卻心情的方法，將更有效。假如孩子感到洩氣，或要發脾氣，叫他一、兩分鐘內，安靜地坐在一個無趣的地方，不能與你互動。假如你可以教導孩子自己從有壓力的地方解除，但願他的情緒就會跟著減壓。

Have your child practice good behavior訓練孩子守規矩

If your child is having difficulty picking up on social cues, like recognizing when another child is hurt and needs sympathy, or interrupting when another child is telling a story, you might role play to have your child practice the proper way to respond in that situation, suggests Lynn. If you want to teach your child not to laugh when another child gets hurt, for example, have your child pretend to fall down and instead of laughing, go up to him and ask him if hes all right or if theres anything you can do to help. Then switch roles so he can practice the right way to respond. Lynn建議，如果孩子對社交暗示學習困難－－看出別人受傷，需要同情，或是打斷別人說故事－－，你可以角色扮演，讓孩子練習以適當方式回應。假如你要教導你的孩子不要嘲笑別人－－當別的孩子受傷時。你可以叫自己孩子假裝跌倒，然後你沒有嘲笑他，而是走向他然後詢問他是否受傷、或者有需要你的幫忙的事。然後更換角色，所以他能練習回應正確的方式。

Stay calm yourself自我鎮定

Keep in mind that your child loves you dearly and wants very much to please you; he just needs your help in learning how. "I remind parents that behind the screaming tyrant is a young child who is terrified and stressed to the max," says Lynn. Telling yourself that the behavior is not the child will go a long way toward keeping you calm and focused. And staying calm is key. "If you have a meltdown, you send the message to your child that you e not in control, and thats scary for him," says Lynn. Kids want their parents to be in control. 記住孩子非常愛你而且想要討好你；他只是需要你的幫助學習如何守規矩。Lynn說：「我提醒家長：在叫喊的暴君面目的背後，是一個受到驚嚇的、對很多事感到壓力的小孩子。」告訴你自己：面對家長的鎮定、集中心力，孩子不會一直撒野。因此自我鎮定是關鍵。Lynn說：「假如你情緒崩潰，孩子收到的訊息是你不能自我控制情緒，對他來說很嚇人。」孩子希望家長情緒管理良好。

Accept the inevitable接受不可避免的事

Remember that the occasional meltdown is inevitable, as it is with almost any child. If you e away from home when it happens, look for a quiet place to retreat. A few minutes of talking softly in a hallway, lobby, backyard, or even a bathroom can help your child calm down and cope. Pack a few of your childs favorite books or crayons and paper for these situations; they can be soothing distractions. If you e at home, turn off the television or stereo or go into a quiet, empty room. A body hug helps calm some kids, and some feel better if you stroke their head as they sit quietly and breathe slowly. But for others physical contact of any kind adds to their distress. Sometimes all you can do is wait it out. In that case, stay close and calm for as long as it takes your child to work through the tantrum and wear himself out.

記得小孩偶爾的情緒崩潰是不可避免的－－幾乎任何孩子都會。假如發生地點不是在家裏，尋找一個安靜的地方讓心情平靜。在走廊、大廳、後院、或甚至浴室，幾分鐘的柔性談話，可以幫助孩子鎮定、好對付。這種情況下，帶一些孩子最愛的書或蠟筆、紙張；這些能使他分散干擾。在家的話，關掉電視、音響、或走到安靜的房間。擁抱，使一些孩子鎮定。當一些孩子安靜坐下、呼吸平順時，撫摸他們的頭使他們感覺好些。但是身體接觸，對有些孩子來說，會增加他們的痛苦。有時候你能做的只是等待。在那種情況下，保持沉默、鎮定－－它讓孩子脾氣發完、疲憊。

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